Asian in America

I love to tell people that when I came to this country from the Philippines, I had no money and I couldn't speak a word of "Engrish." Makes people think that I've come a long way. "Wow," they say, "I would never have guessed!" It cracks them up when I tell them I was only seven months old when I got here. :)

When I was five, we settled in a predominantly white suburb in New Jersey. It was mainly (ashkenazi) Jewish, Irish, German, Italian, with a growing number of Filipino residents. It was the '80s. When people asked where the Philippines was, I told them it was located somewhere within the airport because that's where my relatives always came from when they came to visit!

Being Asian in America is not something we really thought about when we were growing up. If anything, being Filipino-American in our neck of the woods meant being hip, cool, and popular in school. We always had the coolest toys. Our parents were all professionals, legal immigrants, and well-off. We were the "kids to watch" way back then.

It wasn't until I ventured out of state, to a private college in New England, that I felt I had to prove my Americanness, prove my legal status and demonstrate my command of the English language. But even then, that insecurity was short-lived. We barely even thought about race except as a source of good-natured, drunken jabs at one another. I delivered pizza for a while, and on some deliveries, I'd put on my best fake accent and pretend I was bringing Chinese food. It would confuse some people, but mainly it cracked people up!

It wasn't until I was really into the singles scene in New York City that I became aware of certain racial inequities. A lot of times I'd get "You're kinda hot, for an Asian guy." A lot of women (even Asian women) would tell me that they just weren't into Asian guys. I was in denial for a looooooong time about it, but when I really thought about it I realized that it was really the fault of popular media, what with "Long Duk Dong" from Sixteen Candles and other tasteless stereotypes. I really became aware of this "crisis" when I talked to a lot of Asian males in the industry. These are talented people who will never be successful because they work in an industry that still discriminates. And the more I think about how the media portrays us, it kinda borders on genocide. If you think about it, the media really is guilty of a deliberate and systematic destruction of Asian men, all in the name of profit. I try not to think about it, but the more I do, the more angry I get. So furious, it scares me sometimes. I seriously wonder if that's the kind of anger Sung Hui Cho felt. We'll never be sure, but I really do wonder. Scary, isn't it?

Anyway, now that I am happily married with a beautiful baby daughter, the awareness of my ethnicity has taken a whole new dimension. While I know that my daughter is living in a better world now, she will still have her struggles. They'll just be a little bit different. It will be up to us to equip her with the skills she needs to overcome them. At least she's not an Asian boy, so we know she'll have it a little easier! :)