New Gimmick for all those Trend Chasers...

I coulda sworn this horizontal dining trend was big a few years back, but I guess it's getting its second wind. Dining in bed... so what's next? I got an idea for the next trend-chasing gimmick: I propose opening a new restaurant in TriBeCa. We'll call it John. But instead of lying in bed, everyone will sit on toilets. Food will be served in the Brazilian churrascaria style, so you won’t ever have to get up. Instead of all you can eat, it’ll be “all the food your rectum can handle.”

Dining in Bed South Beach Style

Worms, Wormholes, and the Homeless...

My wife has a nice, fit, tight body. Lately, she's been eating a lot that classy American cuisine like BK, McD's, KFC, etc... But she's got nothing to show for it. She doesn't work out much, and it's not like she's been spending a lot of time on the john. At first I thought maybe she was pregnant, or maybe that she's got worms in her stomach. This week, I noticed that the homeless people in the area seem to be getting stouter. So, now I'm thinking that maybe someone's mastered the quantum science behind wormholes. Could it be that when she eats the burger or the fries or the mozzarella sticks, the food goes staight into the stomachs of homeless people? Speaking of homeless people, there's this poem I just found in my computer. It was written by a homeless friend of mine. I only see him a couple of times a year, but he emails his poetry from time to time. Here's one that he sent me a couple of years ago: Indigo Cafe by P. M.

Baldwin in the window King behind the glass Perennially I feel like I'm way behind the class. Beauties talkin'politics Wearing cushioned smiles Chocolate chips and coffee African masks and Miles. Nothin' in my pocket Homelessness is soon How can I walk in and With all of them commune? Raindrops comin' on me I don't really care What I want is inside But I can only stare. I turn around and walk up The length of Fulton Street Hallucinating visions Of Shebas I get to meet.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- I'm gonna go out and get my wife a Big Mac.